It’s 4am. Should I go to sleep or wake up?!
Well, it depends if I’m in bed or staring at my laptop screen, whether I’ve stayed up all night using my positive thinking to control the markets to recover my short position; or I’ve been lying awake since 1am, peaking at the dull-red digital display of an alarm clock, curious-worrying about an open trade.
I was sleep-deprived for a month, probably longer, between 3 and 5 hours a night. Blame it on my learning curve into trading; the velocity was energizing; desperation, motivating. Who wants to sleep when there is money to be made, skill to be developed?!
I learnt a huge amount. Copied strategies, discarded strategies. Subscribed to youtube channels, unsubscribed. Watched webinars, deleted hundreds of emails promising massive returns.
The woozy, sick feeling of my brain swimming in Pixelland became debilitating, slightly alarming. I could feel cognitive function drifting out to sea on a cruise liner of geriatrics blissfully unaware of flat earth theory.
I had a pain in my chest recently, on the left side, in the hollow under my peck. I like to think it was a side effect of the ozone therapy I had the day before. I’m going to believe that (because the other conclusion is scary). But it was a wake-up call!
Go to bed!
My yoga training reappeared in my mind. Or it was my partner’s mood. It could be argued both ways. I breathed into my belly, and dropped my mind into my heart. Valuable lessons are priceless. The skill is in the silence, the quiet confidence. Yoga releases that skill.
I went to bed early. Woke up and resumed my yoga practice.
The top two changes you can make in your life to improve your health, immediately available to you. And free.
Sleep! & Exercise!
Oh! My Word! I’ve learnt a lot. And remembered.
I’ve stopped using stop losses.
My mindset has been reset from La La Fantasy Moon Land to This is the Way Markets Work. It’s not rocket science, it’s nuance and chance, resistance and support. Therein lies the beauty. Harmony between channelled cautiousness and recklessness. A quiet, sober confidence aware of the risks; a calm ocean watching the waves rekt on the rocks.
I’ve dug myself out of my first hole, and yet I’m not thinking of the next one. I’m going to enjoy the climb. Fuck you, institutional traders! And thank you!